Frank.That's All we can Say or we're Dead Meat. Read online

Frank. That’s all we can say or we’re dead meat.

  The third book in the BeanZ series

  By Ashlynn Elliott

  BeanZ 3: Frank. That’s all we can say or we’re dead meat.

  Copyright 2014 by Ashlynn Elliott

  Chapter 1: Last Day of School

  “Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!” sounded the school bus as it pulled back into the street. Ashlynn Elliott, her dog, and her 5-year-old brother, Andre’ jumped off and ran into the house.

  “Whew! No more school!” Huggins, the dog, yelled. In fact, he couldn’t really be considered a dog. He was a talking stuffed dog! And yes! He went to school!

  “Yay! Now we can spend the whole summer together!” Ashlynn’s sister, Aleah and her talking cat, Cricket bounced. They glanced at each other. “Hey! I was supposed to say that!” they growled at each other.

  Oh, and speaking of talking animals, all beanie babies can talk! That is a secret that no one else knows except Ashlynn, Cricket, Huggins, Aleah, and Ashlynn’s mom. Good thing Andre doesn’t know! He hates the beanie babies! Boy, if he found that out, it would be a catastrophe!

  Chapter 2: The Package

  “I got something in the mail today,” Ashlynn’s mom said. She handed Ashlynn a small, lightweight package.

  “Awesome!” Ashlynn ripped it open. “It’s an early birthday present!”

  “Ooh! Ooh! What is it?” Cricket bounced.

  “It’s $30!” Ashlynn said as she held out the three ten dollar bills.

  “Mom, can we go shopping tomorrow?” Ashlynn asked.

  “Sure, I guess.” Her mom replied.

  A few hours later, Cricket scampered into Ashlynn’s room. Ashlynn was doodling in her notebook. “What are you drawing?” Cricket asked.

  “I’m drawing what I want your new friend to look like!” Ashlynn replied.

  Cricket sat on Ashlynn’s dresser for a little while. To her surprise, Ashlynn threw Cricket and Huggins (who was on the other side of the room) a green wad of paper. Huggins and Cricket unfolded it. Ashlynn had given them each 10 dollars!

  Chapter 3: Beanie Flu

  That night, Ashlynn could barely sleep because she heard so much noise. When she woke up, Huggins was sitting on her stomach, looking both eager and nervous about something. “Ready to go?” He asked.

  “Um…. I guess someone’s ready to shop!” Ashlynn laughed.

  “Uh, what? Oh, yeah, yeah, shop!” He babbled suspiciously.

  “What’s going on?” Ashlynn’s mood changed quickly.

  Huggins froze. “No! Nothing! Nothing is going on! Everything’s fine, healthy, and not nasty! Cricket is fine, nothing has to do with her, she slept soundly in her room all night but don’t go in her room! She doesn’t want to shop today, uh… Not buying it, are you?”

  “Uh, no,” Ashlynn sighed. She walked into Cricket’s room.

  “Here we go….” Huggins groaned.

  Cricket had a sick look on her face. She grabbed the thermometer on her dresser and checked her temperature. It was 103.5 degrees. She grabbed a trash can and threw up.

  “Ew!” Ashlynn hacked. “Cricket, what’s the matter?”

  Cricket sighed. “I-I have the-the beanie flu!” she mumbled. “Luckily for you, it’s not contagious and I’ll probably be better in, um, about three hours.”

  “Ok…” Ashlynn bit her lip. “Do you want me to pick anything up at the mall with your ten dollars?” She asked.

  “Sure!” Cricket smiled. “Stop by Dr. Prankster’s and get me one of his new genuine whoopee cushion.”

  Ashlynn was confused. “How can a whoopee cushion be genuine?!”

  “It just is! Now go get it!”

  Ashlynn and Huggins dashed out of the room.

  Chapter 4: Dr. Prankster’s

  After they ate breakfast, they went to the mall. Their first stop was Dr. Prankster’s prank-pulling shop. The place was full of itchy cream, fake vomit, fake doggy-doo-doo, fake ketchup, fake beetles, and many other prank-pulling supplies.

  The store manager, Dr. Prankster, popped out behind them and sprayed some kind of perfume and stepped on a whoopee cushion. He laughed, “Ooh, someone let it rip!”

  Huggins yanked the perfume out of Dr. Prankster’s hand and put it back on the shelf. Dr. Prankster didn’t care. “Well, if you’d like to try it, fellow prankster, it’s our new, genuine toot cologne. Also, if you enjoyed this one, you may like out genuine vomit cologne, our genuine dog poop cologne, or our smelly sock and shoe cologne!” He showed Ashlynn, Huggins, her mom, and Aleah a tray of nasty colognes.

  “Does everything in your store start with ‘genuine’?” Ashlynn’s mom asked.

  “Yup!” Dr. Prankster smiled.

  They were so annoyed, they just grabbed Cricket’s whoopee cushion and left.

  Chapter 5: Huggins’s Big Speech

  After Huggins spent his 10 dollars at Radio Shack, they went to Kute Kuddles toy store. “Why on Earth are we here? Aleah has money?” Huggins laughed.

  “No, she doesn’t. I’m here to buy you a new beanie baby friend,” Ashlynn replied.

  Huggins groaned. “Oh, come, on! These old dogs and cat toys are alive! This is like slave trade in the 1990’s when Christopher Columbus sailed to Australia and he made them slaves!”

  Ashlynn and her mom were silent for a moment. Ashlynn broke the silence. “You know, I was a little worried when failed your history final. Now I see why…..”

  There was another silence. Ashlynn broke it again. “Well, it’s time to pick the next beanie.” Ashlynn glanced at the rack. She saw a puny-looking brown wiener dog. Since he was wimpy, she thought he would be the perfect match for Cricket!

  She read the tag. “I like this one! His name is Frank! Ha! I bet this one’s going to be puny like Cricket!” She picked up the little stuffed wiener dog and brought him to the front desk. She paid for Frank and left.

  Chapter 6: Getting Home to a Nightmare!

  When they got home, Ashlynn asked her dad if Cricket was feeling any better. Her dad replied, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that she’s not vomiting anymore and the fever’s gone, but the bad thing is that she is completely better!”

  Ashlynn turned around to see Cricket. “WHOOO!” The crazy four-year-old cat was bouncing off the walls.

  “CRICKET MARIE! Get down! Now!” Ashlynn yelled at the cat who was swinging by a rope hanging from the spinning ceiling fan.

  Cricket untied the rope and she fell. “Did you get my whoopee cushion?” She dizzily asked.

  “Uh, yeah, unfortunately,” Ashlynn sighed as she handed Cricket the whoopee cushion.

  “So,” Cricket asked. “Did you get a new friend for us?”

  “Yes I did!” Ashlynn pulled the brown wiener dog out of her shopping bag. “His name is Frank!”

  Ashlynn watched Cricket’s face change. Her perky smile went white with fear. She looked at Ashlynn, then at Frank, then at Huggins, and back at Frank. “AAAAHHHH!” she screamed. “Beanie Baby Bully alert! Run for your lives!” she ran down the hallway, ran in her room, and slammed the door.

  Huggins and Ashlynn glared at the little cat who had screamed at a puny wiener dog. “What was THAT all about?!” Huggins asked.

  “For the first time,” Ashlynn sighed, “I have NO CLUE.”

  Chapter 7: Frank vs. Huggins vs. Cricket

  While listening to Cricket’s screams, she accidently dropped Frank on the floor. She didn’t notice when Frank jumped to his feet. She DID notice when Frank yelled, “OWWW! Why’d you drop me on the floor?!” Then, Frank thought about what he had just done. “Dang it! Please don’t freak out! Yes, I talk
!” He growled.

  “We all know that now….” Huggins rolled his eyes.

  Frank glanced at Huggins. “Shut it, pea brain!” he snapped. He looked at the door. “Where’s Cricket? I’ve got some catching up to do with her!” He smacked his fist.

  “Hold up, Frank. First of all, I’m Ashlynn. I’m usually nice, but don’t get me mad!” Ashlynn grabbed him by his right paw. “Second of all, how do you know Cricket’s name?”

  Frank paused his fist-smacking. “We were in the same toy store for a while. I don’t like her. I was so glad when the Easter Bunny took her away. But now I guess she landed here, so she’s about to get pounded, since I live here now, too.”

  A minute later, Frank and Huggins made friends with each other. Then, the door creaked open. “Is he gone?” Cricket whimpered from behind the door.

  Frank glanced back at her and replied. “Nope. Not at all. Never will be gone again. I live here now,”

  “Uh, oh,” Cricket gasped. Frank ran after her and pounced on her. “AAHHH!!!!” Cricket screamed. Huggins decided to help both of his friends.

  “I’m coming! Hang in there!” Huggins jumped into the dog and cat fight.

  After that, Ashlynn could do nothing but watch and listen to the flurry of tails, ears, teeth, barks and meows.

  Chapter 8: Not a Wiener. At All.

  Finally realizing what was going on, Ashlynn jumped in and separated the fighting dogs and cat. She took a deep breath. “Jeez, Frank! I thought you were going to be puny!”

  Frank didn’t like that! He dashed over to Ashlynn and bit her on the leg. “Oww….” Ashlynn groaned sarcastically. “Doesn’t hurt. Did it hit you that I’m ten times bigger than you?” She laughed as she grabbed the tiny dachshund of her leg.

  Frank rubbed the taste of girl leg off of his tongue. “Ok, I like you. You’re cool. But please don’t call me puny or a wiener, ok?”

  Huggins laughed. “You actually are both of those!”

  Frank turned around to the bulldog that had just called him that. “You want to go there, bulldog?”

  Huggins raised his eyebrow. Was this wiener dog serious?! “Oh, yeah!” Huggins yelled back at Frank. Frank jumped on Huggins’s back. Suddenly, Aleah and Andre walked in from outside. They had different reactions about Huggins being trampled on by Frank.

  Aleah screamed, “HUGGINS DEAD!!!” And ran to her room to begin crying.

  Andre, however, glanced at the hurt dog that he once tried to get rid of and yelled, “AWESOME!!!!”

  Huggins looked up at the dog on his back. “You’re good,” he hacked.

  Frank thought for a minute. He got off of Huggins’s back. “Ok, so far, I like Ash-whatever-her-name-is, blond-headed boy, me, and bulldog,”

  Huggins growled, “My NAME is HUGGINS!!”

  “I’m not really a fan of crybaby’s attitude and I hate you-know-who!” He pointed to Cricket.

  “Hey!” Cricket yelled.

  Chapter 9: Only Normal One

  After a few conversations, Huggins led Frank to Huggins’s room. It was filled with radios and Cd’s and all kinds of musical things. “Nice.” Frank smiled. “Where’s mine?” Then, Ashlynn led him to an empty room with nothing but a ceiling fan, a tiny bed, carpet, and a window.

  “You’re kidding, right?” Frank groaned. “THIS is my room? Why isn’t it cool like Huggins’s room?”

  “Well, you have to decorate it now!” Ashlynn smiled. She said, “Do you want to pick your sheet cover for your bed?” She held out many colors of fabric.

  “I want the green one.” Frank snatched it out of her hand and put it on the bed. Ashlynn sewed a pillow for the bed.

  “Um…. Can we paint the walls red?” Frank asked.

  “Sure!” Ashlynn smiled.

  “Can I also have boxing gloves, my own TV, a pranking kit, a shark tank, and a dart set with Cricket’s face on it?”

  “Sure!” Ashlynn smiled. Then she realized what he had asked for. “Wait, What?!”

  “Ha-ha! Got you! You said sure, so you have to get it for me!” Ashlynn got everything anyways. The shark tank was almost impossible.

  Huggins looked at the room that Frank called cool. “Am I the only NORMAL one here?!” he asked himself as he put his hand on his head.

  Chapter 10: Caught on Camera

  That night, there was a car wreck on the road, so there were many news reporters. It was ironic, since this was the night Frank decided to go dart houses.

  First, he stopped at a boy in Ashlynn’s class, Connor’s, house. He took some darts out of his pranking kit and began darting Connor’s house. Connor peeked through a window to see Frank darting his house.

  Little did Frank know that the twin crime news reporters, Adisyn and Sydni, had wandered off from the car wreck and recorded Frank instead.

  Adysin whispered in her twin sister’s ear, “This is going to be the highlight of the year!”

  “I know!” Sydni replied. As Frank finished off the darting, he waddled back home with a grin on his face. After Frank left, Connor went back outside to pull the darts off of his wall.

  “I’m going to get that doggie back!” He growled.

  Chapter 11: Grounded

  The next morning, Ashlynn, Huggins, and Cricket sat down on the sofa and turned on the news. The three were stunned to see Frank darting Connor’s house on TV.

  “He did not do that last night, did he?!” Huggins’s eyes looked as if they were going to poke out of his head.

  “I told you he was a beanie baby bully!” Cricket whined.

  Ashlynn’s eyes glared with anger. She was MAD! “FRANK!!!!!!!!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

  Frank scampered through the doorway when he heard his name. “What do you want?!” He turned around and glanced at himself on TV. He took a breath. “Oh, yeah. That. That was last night. It’s no big deal,” Frank tried to walk out of the room to avoid getting in trouble on his only second day there.

  Ashlynn caught him by the collar. “It IS a big deal! You darted someone’s house! You got caught on TV!” She yelled. Then, Huggins and Cricket backed away from the scene; they didn’t want to get involved. “You’re grounded, Frank, until you can be good!”

  Frank was devastated. “No fair!” the four-year old dog whined. He waddled to his room. He grumbled all day, and didn’t do anything else.

  That night, Ashlynn, Cricket, Connor, Huggins, Adysin, Sydni, and a bunch of other school kids talked and figured out a way to show Frank what was what.

  Chapter 12: Ashlynn’s Party Mishap

  The rest of summer, Frank listened. He was good. He was almost actually perfect. He got off his punishment within the first week.

  Pretty soon, it was Ashlynn’s 10th birthday party. She had invited Carly, Ally, Emily, and her cousins to her sleepover. Frank, Huggins and Cricket were having a blast!

  Soon, it was time to hit the piñata. Ashlynn was first. She knocked off the head, but no candy came out. Frank was second, and he wanted to bust it so bad because he wanted to be the first at the cherry tarts inside. He only knocked off the tail, and no candy fell out. After everyone went, it was Frank’s turn again! That piñata was so bent out of shape, he was sure to knock it apart! Then, he heard a noise. Cricket tripped over the bat and flew right to the piñata and busted it! It wasn’t even her turn!

  Frank was furious! He was supposed to bust it! He ran back inside of the house and grabbed his prank kit. He yelled, “ARGH!!!” He knocked over the cake and the table.

  This would be a night to remember.

  Chapter 13: Everything Falls into Place

  Frank was going to get revenge that night. He dashed out of the house and ran down the road. He glanced at every house and thought, No, Not the right one! Finally, he stopped at a big gray mansion.

  “This is the perfect spot!” Frank evilly smiled. He grabbed his toilet paper out of his kit and winded it around the oak tree in the center of the yard.

  Meanwhile, at Ashlynn’s house, Ashlynn and
her friends waited impatiently for Connor and a few other kids to show up for the plan.

  Suddenly, from across the room, Cricket screamed, “Connor’s here!”

  Ashlynn looked toward Cricket. “Thanks for busting the piñata!” she laughed. “The plan is going perfectly now!”

  “That was part of the plan?!” Cricket cocked her head. “Huggins pushed me!”

  Then, Connor, Adisyn, Sydni, and a few other girls named Mary and Zoey walked out of the car and went over the plan to get Frank back for what happened at Connor’s house.

  Everyone bundled into Connor’s mom’s red car and followed Frank’s tracks.

  Everything was falling into place!

  Chapter 14: The Plan A Failure

  This is going to go perfect! Connor thought. His mom dropped Connor off at the mansion that Frank was pranking. He was ready.

  Here we go! He thought. Connor snuck behind Frank and arrived at the back porch of the mansion.

  He knocked on the fancy door. The lady quietly opened the door. “Mam?” Connor asked. The lady smiled kindly.

  “Why, hello, young sir! What would you like, so late at night?” The lady giggled.

  “Well,” Connor began to worry that his plan wouldn’t work. “There’s an alive talking dog toilet-papering your house and we’re trying to get him to stop, so can you fake scream and pretend to call the police on him?” Connor worriedly asked.

  The lady gave him the stink eye. “No, sonny. That is nonsense. I do not want to make myself look like a fool. You must go home now. You are probably insensible because you are extremely tired. Run along, now!”

  Great. Connor thought to himself as he stomped back to his mom’s car. He listened to the mansion lady slam the door. What on Earth am I going to do now?

  Chapter 15: A Whole New and Better Plan

  “Does anybody have any better plans?” Connor sighed as he plopped back down into his seat. “That horrible plan didn’t work.” Everyone shook their heads.

  Suddenly, a buzzer that sounded like a police car went off. “Bee-do! Bee-do!” It screeched.

  “EEK!” Mary screamed. “THE POLICE ARE COMING!” Everyone turned around to look in the back window. No one saw any cars!

  “Ha, Ha!” Everyone heard. It was coming from the trunk of the car.

  It was Cricket and Huggins! “Your turn!” Cricket laughed. Huggins pressed a buzzer. The police car screech continued.

  Ashlynn gasped at the sight. “You guys just gave me an idea!”

  Huggins glared at her. “Duh,” He laughed. “That was the point!”